“If ever there is tomorrow when we’re not together, there is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
But the most important thing is, even if we’re apart… i’ll always be with you.”
Winnie the Pooh
{ALERT: Taking time away my friends to be present, leaning-in and taking in all that God is teaching me. Keep my Mama, my babies and me in your daily prayers and meditations. Peace and ease ~ Luckie}
Today via Twitter, I sadly learned yet another Friend has been touched by Alzheimer’s Disease, with the recent diagnosis of a family member that marks a long and challenging journey ahead.
Even after close to 2 years since Mom’s formal diagnosis, it still floors me how many people and families are impacted by this tormenting thief. Crazy how many folks I personally know who are walking this road daily!
I wish the Buddhist in me could be far more enlightened and gracious — but that’s what Alzheimer’s Disease is and that’s just where I am today. Resolute in seeing ALZ for what it is, a tormenting sickness that ever so slowly steals pieces of your loved away from you.
Be warned, Alzheimer’s Disease is completely lacking of empathy and without predictability. It does not fight fair, so don’t expect it to! It will shake you. Period.
I curse it frequently for taking my Mom away from me way too soon, and for robbing her of the sweetness of aging I’d hoped would be her destiny. This was not in my plans!
When I’m totally clueless as how to survive another day (and this is often), I listen to the teachings of Pema Chödrön [When Things Fall Apart]. It’s only when I quiet myself and lean in that I can admit the truth — Alzheimer’s Disease, albeit every bit the WORST of spiritual thieves, has also opened my heart and strengthened my core.
Facing Mom’s journey with Alzheimer’s Disease forces me to also face myself (and my Refuge Vows) in the cultivation of Bodhicitta (enlightenment or awakened heart). No scratch that — it presents me with the OPPORTUNITY to cultivate Bodhicitta, the choice is 100% mine.
I’m being schooled on ALL the character rocks I’ve tripped over in life — forgiveness, letting go, divine trust and patience with myself and others. I’ve accepted my seat as life’s “student” and the understanding that my existence is Divine Grace.
Would I have EVER opened my eyes — or heart — fully had life not stunned me by way of the petite, brown woman who’s ALWAYS been my rock? I don’t think so!
I had no right to believe I could pen the script of Mama’s life. Her life belongs to God, just as mine. There is NOTHING we can do that makes us any more or less deserving of suffering than the next person.
If life could be so simple to allow bad things to happen ONLY to bad people! No such luck — it’s all Grace!
So after all this rambling, given where I am with “the lesson”, what’s my advice for those starting this journey?
Today by chance Justis had an opportunity to play guitar (The Beatles, Twist & Shout) for Mom and her friends! And as she was dancing, she had a Grandma Moment remembering how much she loved his hair and that he was still “her boy”!
It was a BEAUTIFUL moment that will be the makings of a lasting, loving memory for Justis.
There is MUCH grace and joy my friends! We just have to be present and willing to snatch it from behind the clouds.
Refuse to be broken. Just flat-out, refuse it…
Peace and ease…
Luckie
{prayers for “G” & all those bonded together by this journey…}
I discovered/scanned this amazing family image while visiting Aunt Hannah in Cincinnati last week.
Aside from my Great, Great Grandma McKENZIE {center} and my Grandfather, Willie C. BARWICK {far right}, I am clueless as to who the other family members and kids are pictured in this photo!
They’re definitely Barwicks but which ones?!
What year was the photo taken? What was the occasion for the gathering? Who’s the baby in Ee’s (Willie) arms — Mom? Uncle Walt? Who are the babies Grandma McKenzie’s holding — Cousins Ralph (Aunt Hannah’s son) and Richard (Aunt Lena’s son)? Who are the adults standing on the back row with Ee?
Hoping one of my BARWICK cousins will be able to shed some light!
HELP!:-)
Luckie
Vibing with my Ancestors this morning ~ Great Grandma Annie CARTER JACKSON, Anbownes, Ee, Great Grandparents Lena McKENZIE & Raymond BARWICK, Great Great Grandparents James & Laura ROSS BARWICK.
I’m at peace… burning sandalwood throughout the house, sipping coffee, giving thanks, reflecting on my recent quality time in Cincinnati and the COMPLETE awareness that I’m FAR from alone.
Don’t let the hiccups of present fool you folks, life is GOOD. It is well with my soul!:-)
Peace & ease…
Luckie
If you’re of African descent and tracing your ALABAMA slave lineage, take time to visit Larry’s Alabama Archive online.
Part of the University of South Florida Africana Project (so is our beloved LowCountry Africana!:-), Larry shares a collection of assorted slave documents from various Alabama counties.
The online collection includes manumission records, numerous deeds/bills of sale, church records, newspaper transcriptions, court records and obituaries.
If you have AUTAUGA roots like The Family Griot (Twitter: @FamilyGriot) definitely checkout Larry’s records. This may be your lucky day!:-)
Luckie
P.S. Lest we forget, A Friend of a Friends is ALWAYS needed and welcomed!:-)
This is my FAVORITE picture of all — the BARWICK siblings, my Mom Geraldine & her big brother Walter [both living].
I’ve always gotten a kick how it’s the exact replica of one taken some 30 years earlier of our Georgia cousins, the STRINGER siblings, Johnnie Mae & Elbert!
Wasn’t Little Gerrie adorable?!:-)
Luckie.
P.S. Please keep Mom in your prayers & meditations. She’s in the advanced stages of Alzheimer’s Disease now…
A young and beautiful Great Aunt Lena is preparing for her upcoming 90th birthday celebration this September in Cincinnati! There’s NOTHING like those [long-living] BARWICK genes!:-)
Luckie
Great, Great Grandparents Joe & Ella MARTIN McKENZIE with Baby Hannah (now 91 yrs -:)! I was so thrilled to see this photo, along with a couple dozen others during my recent Cinti family trip!:-)
Great Grandfather Raymond BARWICK at Rensler’s Photography Studio on Central Avenue, Cincinnati, OH. Circa unknown.
Yes… I’m still on Rensler’s trail!:-)
Luckie
It’s been almost 7 years since I traveled I-75 North heading to Cincinnati, Ohio. Although my Georgia and Alabama family roots reach deep, I was raised in Cincinnati, so the trip home is always warm and familiar.
I hadn’t planned this journey but I see now that doesn’t make it any less predestined. I was supposed to make this trip… at this time.
For the first time, I was blessed to experience the 157 acre Alex Haley Farm in Clinton, Tennessee all by myself — well sorta — my sidekicks Justis and Jai were with me!:-)
I’d not walked the land since my Children’s Defense Fund days in 1995 but the farm was as beautiful and serene as I remembered it.
It’s a blessed, natural sanctuary first owned by Alex Haley and now, CDF. There are beautiful new additions like the Riggio-Lynch Chapel and Langston Hughes Library (the redesigned vintage farmhouse by Maya Lin) and MANY happy memories – my nights spent in the Dollhouse, gathering with friends in the main lodge, singing the Hallelujah Chorus together, and walking with flashlights because it’s pitch-black at night.
I felt truly blessed and at peace. It was divine sharing the memories and experience with the kids!
After our Haley Farm rest-stop, we arrived home with enough daylight remaining to visit with my big Brother Hari and to chow-down on our fav Cincinnati food loves — Skyline Chili and United Dairy Farmers ice cream!
I woke Sunday morning to find 91 year old Great Aunt Hannah already up [by 6:30 AM], dressed for church and showing me where snacks for the kids were!
Sunday afternoon was spent laughing and reminiscing with Great Aunt Lena (Hannah’s almost 90 year old “baby” sister) in Mount Healthy, the community where I was raised.
I loved showing the kids where my Grandparents and Aunt’s homes were and recalling the names of ALL our neighbors! Wow, we lived in a time when communities were real communities didn’t we?!
My Sister [in-law] Pam and Niece, Jaime joined us and we laughed about what “brick-houses” she and my Sis Gina were in high school! Only pictures will do them justice! And though he wasn’t feeling too “social”, we even met my adorable 5 year old Great Nephew Jordan for the first time!:-)
Jai says we should bring Nanny (Mom) to see Aunts Hannah and Lena because they have the same “hair, face and hands”!:-)
If Aunt Lena has the 90th birthday celebration she promises in September, the kids and I will definitely be back!
It’s been a blessed and enlightening weekend. But as clearly as I knew it was time to come, I now understand it’s time to GO.
Home is calling and I *think* I understand what the Ancestors sent me here to get – CLARITY.
Life is knowing how — with clarity and ease — to follow the signs guiding our actions and soul journey. It’s the balance of knowing when to hold-on tight and/or when to release with peace. It’s equal parts deliberate intention and divine submission. Life is change and acceptance.
Thank God… I’m seeing and listening! It’s time to head home.
Peace & ease…
Luckie
P.S. Wait til you see the AMAZING Ancestor images!:-)
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CDF’s [and my] prayer…
The Haley Farm welcome sign!
The Dollhouse ~ Alex Haley’s home when on property
The Dollhouse lawn, complete with a Pecan grove!:-)
Bridge crossing the stream & leading to the remaining land. Most of the 157 acres is still undeveloped.
The Langston Hughes Library designed by Maya Lin. I was told she deconstructed the original old barn, built the library & then had the barn reconstructed around it! AMAZING!:-)
One of several guest cabins on the farm.
One of many Zen-ish gardens located throughout the farm
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